A few people joked that I was going to go crazy here with the relative isolation and cold. I've been fine with all of that, and up until a few hours ago I thought I was going to return home the same person I was when I left, but I'm not. I'm no longer the Rickie you all knew before.
My day started out great. It's my day off so I slept in and lounged around, went and worked out, used the sauna, and took a shower. What a great beginning to a day right?! Well I'm standing in the shower in the bathroom drying off. Some guy walked in alone so it's not like he was joking with a friend or something, he said loudly, "it smells like shit in here!". Then he paused for several seconds and said "Good!". The next minute or so it took me to dry off, get dressed, and evacuate were accompanied by a cacophony of sounds that will likely haunt me until the day I die. The guy rendered that bathroom uninhabitable in a way I don't think he could have done with a small suitcase nuke. Where am I going to shower now? I may not have another shower while I'm here.
I'm not even sure what to do with myself. I know I have work tomorrow but what if I can't pull myself out of bed? What if I lay there and cry all day? Will my boss be understanding and let me grieve? What if I hear that in my dreams? Maybe I should go see the chaplain and see of he can somehow exercise these demons.
The Rickie that you all knew died today and the person typing these words for you is a new and not so improved Rickie. I wonder if you'll even recognize me when you see me? Will I even recognize any of you? My vision has been a little blurry ever since, I hope I don't go blind because of this. I'm a dejected soul, not even God could love me now.
In case the sounds in my dreams cause some sort of spontaneous brain hemorrhage then I want you all to know I love you. I'll be waiting for you on the other side.
Rickie <--- The new one:(
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